second final draft

For each person, there would be a moment really important to he or her. There were many significant moments for me and I sometimes forgot some of them. However, I can remember what happened when I first went to a boarding school. Homesick was so normal for everybody that went to a new school and I was also a member of that. However as a result, this experience helped me to be independent and helped me to find my best friend forever.

I opened my eyes, and it was already six o’clock. Where was I? I was still not getting used to where I lived that time. I started going to junior high school that time. That was the first time I went to a boarding school. After a month of school days and a seven days break, I started to have home sick.

It was just a normal day after the break. Octobers in Shanghai was always warm and peaceful. I would like the peaceful scene in normal time, but for the time that I had home sick, it just brought me irritation and anger. The leaves weren’t falling and seemed to be a little bit yellow; some small birds were on the branches. The soft winds blew to my face quietly. But none of these beautiful things can make me happy.

I started to complain in my mind. I did blame my parents who went to other cities because of work, I did blame my grandparents who left me and went to look after my little cousin, and I even blame my little cousin who took the love of my grandparents and make me to stay in a boarding school with home sick. It was a beautiful morning, but my mind cannot be as beautiful as that.

I stayed in the school’s dining hall by myself and I didn’t want anyone to stay with me. “Having no friends is better in this condition”, I thought. However, someone came to me without invitation. “What are you doing here? Eating breakfast by your own in a beautiful morning is really a waste of time!” she said. I was a little bit shy and I didn’t know what to say that time. Then, I just stayed and listened to her.

She tried a lot to talk with me. “Why you just don’t talk?” she was confused, “I think the best thing in the world is to talk with your friend!” She smiled like the sunshine in the sky. I looked in her eyes and saw the color that had been reflected by the light of the sun. I asked, “Are we friend? We even don’t have any conversation.” She answered happily, “Of course we are! And we can start the conversation now! Let’s see, um… what’s your favorite activity?” She spoke a lot and she’s really an outspoken girl. I knew more information about her later. She came to me and “forced” me to do things that I seemed don’t want to do. She knew I yearned for doing that. As a result, I found the air changed, everything became better.

Since the relationships between people are so magical, we soon became good friends. Later, my friend also helped me to join in the new place and I started to change to do something I seemed didn’t want to before. She made me felt better and told me what she felt when she got homesick at the first year of boarding school. As a result, I get into the new condition that I lived. Lastly, I want to say it’s difficult to live by yourself in a new place, and it’s really great to be a independent person, but if people have a friend, that’s even better.

Significant Moment final first draft

For each person, there would be a moment really important to he or her. There were many significant moments for me and I sometimes forgot some of them. However, I can remember what happened when I first went to a boarding school. Homesick was so normal for everybody that went to a new school and I was also a member of that. But as a result, this experience helped me to be independent and helped me to find my best friend forever.

I opened my eyes, and it was already six o’clock. Where was I? I was still not getting used to where I lived that time. I started going to junior high school that time. That was the first time I went to a boarding school. After a month of school days and a seven days break, I started to have home sick.

It was just a normal day after the break. Octobers in Shanghai was always warm and peaceful. I would like the peaceful scene in normal time, but for the time that I had home sick, it just brought me irritation and anger. The leaves weren’t falling and seemed to be a little bit yellow; some small birds were on the branches. The soft winds blew to my face quietly. But none of these beautiful things can make me happy.

I started to complain in my mind. I did blame my parents who went to other cities because of work, I did blame my grandparents who left me and went to look after my little cousin, and I even blame my little cousin who took the love of my grandparents and make me to stay in a boarding school with home sick. It was a beautiful morning, but my mind cannot be as beautiful as that.

I stayed in the school’s dining hall by myself and I didn’t want anyone to stay with me. “Having no friends is better in this condition”, I thought. However, someone came to me without invitation. “What are you doing here? Eating breakfast by your own in a beautiful morning is really a waste of time!” she said. I was a little bit shy and I didn’t know what to say that time. Then, I just stayed and listened to her. She spoke a lot. I knew more information about her later. She came to me and “forced” me to do things that I seemed don’t want to do. She knew I wanted to do that. As a result, I found the air changed, everything became beautiful again.

Since the relationships between people are so magical, we soon became good friends. She made me felt better and told me what she felt when she got homesick at the first year of boarding school. As a result, I get into the new condition that I lived. Lastly, I want to say it’s difficult to live by yourself in a new place, and it’s really great to be a independent person, but if people have a friend, that’s even better.

Significant Moment draft

I opened my eyes, and it was already six o’clock. Where was I? I was still not getting used to where I lived that time. I started going to junior high school that time. That was the first time I went to a boarding school. After a month of school days and a seven days break, I started to have home sick.

It was just a normal day after the break. Octobers in Shanghai was always warm and peaceful. I would like the peaceful scene in normal time, but for the time that I had home sick, it just brought me irritation and anger. The leaves weren’t falling and seemed to be a little bit yellow; some small birds were on the branches. The soft winds blew to my face quietly. But none of these beautiful things can make me happy.

I started to complain in my mind. I did blame my parents who went to other cities because of work, I did blame my grandparents who left me and went to look after my little cousin, and I even blame my little cousin who took the love of my grandparents and make me to stay in a boarding school with home sick. It was a beautiful morning, but my mind cannot be as beautiful as that.

Actually the courses are not easy for me, and I didn’t really like everything in my new school, even my classmates. I didn’t found really good friends since I just went there for a month but my other classmates knew each other for many years. “Hi! Why are you staying here by yourself?” someone asked me. I looked up strangely, that’s one of my classmates. I had never talked to her before. I tried to smiled and answered, “Nothing, I’m just sitting here and waste the time.” Then we had breakfast together.

Since the relationships between people are so magical, we soon became good friends. She made me felt better and told me what she felt when she got homesick at the first year of boarding school. As a result, I get into the new condition that I lived. Lastly, I want to say it’s difficult to live by yourself in a new place, and it’s really great to be a independent person, but if people have a friend, that’s even better.

Common Grammar Mistakes

For a piece of writing, it’s really important for people to have the correct grammar. The correct grammar can make the writing seems formal and clear. However, there are still many kinds of grammar mistakes, which everybody would met and also really difficult to prevent. For example, the spelling mistakes, tenses problem and using the wrong articles are some typical grammar mistakes in essays, books and nearly all of writings.

Firstly, for the spelling mistakes, it always happens when people are typing. For example, when I wrote a book review for Persepolis, I wrote, “The story stars when Marjane was ten, when she used to believe her schoolteachers and believed the god selected the king”. I meant to write the story starts, but I typed really fast and I didn’t check it, so I just wrote the story stars, which wasn’t making any sense at all. For another kind of spelling mistakes, it’s always caused by the difficult and long world. Such as sometimes, I wanted to write unfortunately, and I usually write “unfortunatly”. But actually it’s difficult to fix people’s spelling problems if people really check their work carefully. Also, for many computers now can help people to fix with their terrible grammar mistakes. Also, if people find some words they are not sure, they can use the dictionary to help.

On the other hand, for tenses problem, which is the most common problem I usually have, mostly happens because of the messy tense using in a piece of writing. So, I mostly use the same tense in one essay. However, I still always got it wrong. When I wrote a letter for a character in a story that I really like, I said, “Even though you were really surprised, you can still stay and be a nice listener of her long story, which is even quite boring.” Since the events happened before, so I used past tense for this sentence. However, I should say you could still stay instead of you can stay. These things just happened in past time, so I cannot you any verbs or things in present tense, or my essay would be really messy with the mix of tenses. In my opinion, tenses problems can be fix by more practicing on writing and people can ask others to help them check the mistakes, which is easier than check by their selves.

After that, another important thing is the using of articles. Articles, such as a, the, and an, are using in all sentences all around people’s life. They are the most common using things. Usually, people use more than one article in a sentence. For example, I use an “a” in last sentence. Actually it’s not a really common mistake in my writing but I would still make it wrong sometime. Also for the letter to a character in a story, I wrote, “I’m just a simple person who has been motivated by silent and deep love.” I referred to the main character’s deep love the other, but I actually didn’t use “the” for silent and deep love. The sentence should be, “I’m just a simple person who has been motivated by the silent and deep love”. For making it better, I think people should even take care of it when they are speaking and try to change it even they find a mistake in speaking. Then it would be really better.

Lastly, I wish there would be less grammar mistakes in my writings. Also, I think it should be possible for me to avoid these common grammar mistakes.