In draft 2, I didn’t change a lot of the information. First of all, I changed the problems in my thesis and add a little bit details in the first and second paragraph. I changed some grammar mistakes and typos, but there’re still some grammar errors in the second draft. Thus, I’m going to work on grammar problems in the 3^rd draft. Then, I’m going to add some specific examples in the 4^th paragraph, which states that video cameras can protect students from accidents. Also, I’m going to add more arguments in the 3^rd paragraph to make it a full draft. Then, about my introduction, I think I need to talk more about the system of video cameras and introduce it more specific. Lastly, for the conclusion, I need to add some expectations of the school when it has video cameras.

revision 1

The use of video surveillance cameras on Cheshire Academy's campus in order to promote safety and security

“Oh my god, where is my money?” “Hey, who broke the board in the classroom?” I heard this kind of voice many times and the school has no solution to solve the problems for a long time. Finally, after the spring break, I saw tons of video cameras appeared in the public areas of the campus. Even though some of my schoolmates complained about losing of privacy, I totally agree of having video cameras in public areas to promote students’ personal property, to decrease crime and to protect students.

First of all, those video cameras can definitely protect students’ personal property. I’m a great example to support my position. Maybe it’s because of my forgetting of locking the door; maybe it’s because of the circumspection of the thief. Before the spring break, I’m a sufferer that I lost 500 hundred dollars and my credit card when I left my room during school time. However, there’s no video camera or other devices that can tell me who the thief was. Even though I could make sure that somebody stole them, I could not prove the truth. I felt disappointed and had nothing to do. Lastly, I got the payment information of my credit card and called the police. Then, the police found who the thief is from the video camera of Stop and Shop. It was a long-term process, which took 3 weeks. However, if there were some video cameras in the dorm, it wouldn’t cost that much time to find the thief. Meanwhile, I was so lucky that the person stole my credit card with the money, or I could never find any information about her. As the result, it’s important to promote my property by having video cameras.

On the other hand, it can eliminate the occurring of crime. When there’s no video camera, there’s no self-discipline in people’s mind since nobody would find it out. When there are video cameras, people would tell them selves there’s something that’s looking at them. Then, the percentage of crimes would decrease. In Paris, for example, the Metro has installed 2,500 video cameras on municipal buses to identify criminal acts as they occur. The cameras caught 83% of crimes and petty crime has declined as a result. In Liverpool, the using of video camera eliminated 25 percent of crime. Thus, those data proves that the using of video cameras is important to control the number of crimes.

Otherwise, the video cameras can use to protect students from accidents. People would say it’s safe enough at school, but accidents are always occurring in normal places. It’s sure that nothing is absolute; teachers cannot avoid accidents completely, so those video cameras are needed. If students are fighting each other, the teachers can know immediately. If a student let somebody even he or she’s not familiar with get into the dorm, the teachers would know at the first time. Even if some event happened already, the police can quickly understand what happened from the video camera. Thus, those video cameras are the best thing to make students stay safe.

Admittedly, it’s true that some opponents would think having those video cameras is an invasion of their privacy. However, ones’ safety and property is much more important than ones’ privacy. Otherwise, the cameras are only in public areas that they still have their privacy in their room. Then, some opponents would say they could just lock the door to keep their property and safety. Nevertheless, as what I just said, the video cameras are things to avoid accident. An accident’s occurring might make people lost more than just a little bit privacy. To conclude, the school should definitely use video cameras to promote students’ safety and security.

video camera

The use of video surveillance cameras on Cheshire Academy's campus in order to promote safety and security

“Oh my god, where is my money?” “Hey, who broke the board in the classroom?” I heard this kind of voice many times and the school has no solution to solve this kind of problem. Finally, after the spring break, I saw tons of video cameras appeared in the public areas of the campus. Even though some of my schoolmates complain about the loosing of privacy, I totally agree of having those video cameras in public areas, including the dorm and hallways, to promote students’ personal property, decreasing crime and protect students.

First of all, those video cameras can definitely protect my personal property. Before the spring break, I’m a sufferer that I lost 500 hundred dollars and my credit card when I left my room at school time. However, there’s no video camera or other devices that can tell me who the thief was. Even though I could make sure that somebody stole them, I could not prove the truth. I felt disappointed and had nothing to do. Lastly, I got the payment information of my credit card and called the police. Then, the police found who the thief is from the video camera of Stop and Shop. It was a long-term process, which took 2 weeks. However, if there were some video cameras in the dorm, it wouldn’t cost that much time to find the thief. Meanwhile, I was so lucky that the person stole my credit card with the money, or I could never find any information about her. As the result, it’s important to promote my property by having video cameras.

On the other hand, it can eliminate the occurring of crime. When there’s no video camera, there’s no self-discipline in people’s mind. When there are video cameras, people would tell them selves there’s something that’s looking at them. Then, the percentage of crimes would decrease. In Paris, for example, the Metro has installed 2,500 video cameras on municipal buses to identify criminal acts as they occur. The cameras caught 83% of crimes and petty crime has declined as a result. In Liverpool, the using of video camera eliminated 25 percent of crime. Thus, those data proves that the using of video cameras is important to control the number of crimes.

Otherwise, the video cameras can use to protect students from accidents. People would say it’s safe enough at school, but there’s still accidents. It’s sure that nothing is absolute; teachers cannot avoid accidents completely, so those video cameras are needed. If students are fighting each other, the teachers can know immediately. If a student let somebody even he or she’s not familiar with get into the dorm, the teachers would know at the first time. Even if some event happened already, the police can quickly understand what happened from the video camera. Thus, those video cameras are the best thing to make students stay safe.

Admittedly, it’s true that some opponents would think having those video cameras is an invasion of their privacy. However, ones’ safety and property is much more important than ones’ privacy. Otherwise, the cameras are only in public areas that they still have their privacy in their room. Then, some opponents would say they could just lock the door to keep their property and safety. Nevertheless, as what I just said, the video cameras are things to avoid accident. An accident’s occurring might make people lost more than just a little bit privacy. To conclude, the school should definitely use the video cameras to promote students’ safety and security.

My position is the school should have video cameras in public areas.
It can promote student's security and property.
My personal experience
Use data to prove safety. Percentage of crime.
People would say about having no privacy, but they are only in public area. (In conclusion)

No privacy
Safety - nobody else would come
Security - on money
They are in public space
Useful
Protect public property

What is the percentage ratio of crime in place that has a camera compare with the place that don't?
Where can people usually find the cameras?
How much does it cost? How clear is it?
Why somebody don't want to use it?
What is the percentage of the using of surveillance camera?

Letter

Dear Granny,

How are you these days with my aunty and my lovely cousins? I miss you and my grandpa so much and love you so much. I miss the time when you are living with me.

Sorry for not going to see you over the Spring break because I’m too busy for the whole break. I truly wanted to meet you, and I understand how much you miss me also. I haven’t seen you for two month and I’m feeling guilty for making the person I love the most disappointed. Sincerely, if I could, I will give my heart to you to show how I wanted to go meet you. Actually, both of us are busy and I’m sure that you would understand my condition after my explanation. You are always the kindest elderly in my life who would never make me sad.

Before the break, I decided to arrive in the airport in Shanghai first because it’s a shorter journey with about 14 hours. It’s a disaster if I go from JFK Airport, one of the airports in New York, to Hong Kong, because it’s a 16 hours flight and it’s a terrible thing even if I stay one more minute on the airplane. I also wanted to meet you in Hong Kong as quickly as you wanted, but I truly can’t.

During the break, I have lots of works to do. For example, there’s a golf try out after break. However, I cannot trust my skill because of the little practice for half a year. Thus, I needed to spend a huge amount of time in the whole break on golf and having little time to go to another city to meet you. Otherwise, my aunt’s so busy to send you to Shanghai with me because of the meetings she had everyday. Everyone knows that you would never leave my young cousins alone. All those reasons made up the result that I cannot see you.

Meanwhile, I’m telling you my apology even though I know that all you wanted is to see me. But please don’t be so disappointed; I’m coming back in two months again. Summer break is a lot longer than Spring break so I have plenty of time to meet you. Also, I’ve already asked my aunt to send you and my little cousins to Shanghai during my cousins’ summer break. I promise I will finish other works perfectly and patiently wait for your coming. In the meantime, me, your granddaughter, promise that you will have a satisfied summer with me.

I wish you would feel happy to see my letter and I love to meet you in summer.

Yours,

Cherrie.

The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee – An Excellent Play

After school’s play in autumn called “Galileo Galilei”, I started to look forward the Winter Theatre program. The play is called The 25^th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee, which the music and lyrics is written by William Finn and Book’s written by Rachel Sheinkin. The story is about a spelling competition called spelling bee. Six spellers were the main character in the competition and each of them came to the competition with his or her stories. They all have different ways to spell words and they have totally different personalities. I like the play by the special way it portrayed characters, the musical form of the play and the interesting plot of the play.

Firstly, I love the shaping of those characters. They are all different. Chip is the champion of the previous Spelling Bee that his proud and always think about girls. Logainne grew up with her two fathers. She was the youngest speller and always wished to be accepted by America. Leaf was the character I like the most. He was naughty and silly in my mind when I first see him. However, he’s just a poor boy who has been ignored by his whole family and wished to justify him. Marcy was a clever and arrogant girl who seemed to know everything, but when she understood that it’s not guilty to do something wrong, she found what she truly wants to do in her life. Olive was a shy girl who always wished to see her father in the spelling bee. Lastly, the winner, William was a clever boy who had a magic foot. He thought nobody liked him, but he might get the respect and friendship from his opponent, Olive. They were all independent people and they are all important in the play.

About the form of the play, it’s more likely to be a musical than a normal play. I heard many beautiful songs in the whole play and have been moved deeply. For example, I can never forget the scene when Olive’s father and mother thing together to show their love of Olive. The sound was so beautiful that it’s continuing wondering in my mind and could never leave. The music throughout the show makes it more complete and give audiences a better impression to understand the show. I remembered Logainne’s dream of being a perfect American, I remembered the dream that William wanted somebody to like him, and I remembered Chip’s anger of being out. The scenes are real with the music.

The plot was another thing I like in the play. It’s not so breathtaking, but still logical and out of my imaginary. For example, when one of Logainne’s father poured his drink on the floor to try to ruin William’s magic foot, I thought he was going to loose forsooth. However, he lastly spelled the world and I felt his surprise while he said, “I can make it without a foot!” Dramatically, Logainne was the loser of that round. I paid attention to the entire play and all the scenes was in my mind.

Lastly, I wish more people would see the excellent play that brought me happiness and pleasant. The show was beautiful, which made me already started looking forward the play coming this spring season.

spelling tree

The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee is a long one-act musical comedy conceived by Rebecca Feldman with music and lyrics by William Finn, a book by Rachel Sheinkin and additional material by Jay Reiss. The show centers on a fictional spelling bee set in a geographically ambiguous Putnam Valley Middle School. Six quirky adolescents compete in the Bee, run by three equally quirky grown-ups.

The 2005 Broadway production, directed by James Lapine and produced by David Stone, James L. Nederlander, Barbara Whitman, Patrick Catullo, Barrington Stage Company and Second Stage Theater, earned good reviews and box-office success and was nominated for six Tony Awards, winning two, including Best Book. The show has spawned various other productions in the U.S., including a national tour with performances in Canada, and Australian productions.

An unusual aspect of the show is that four real audience members are invited on stage to compete in the spelling bee alongside the six young characters. During the 2005 Tony Awards, former Presidential candidate Al Sharpton competed. Another amusing aspect of the show is that the official pronouncer, usually an improv comedian, provides ridiculous usage-in-a-sentence examples when asked to use words in a sentence. For instance, for the word "palaestra", he says, "Euripides said, 'What happens at the palaestra stays at the palaestra.'"[1] At some shows, adult-only audiences (over age 16) are invited for "Parent-Teacher Conferences," also known as "adult night at the Bee." These performances are peppered with sexual references and profanity inspired by R-rated ad-libs made during rehearsals.

The Broadway cast album was released on May 31, 2005 and is available from Ghostlight Records, an imprint of Sh-K-Boom Records. The original Broadway cast recording was nominated for a Grammy Award.