According to the revision yesterday, I add
the relationship between other places and Cheshire Academy’s policy for the
third paragraph. Then, I add an example, which is about the event happened last
semester to prove my points, for the fourth paragraph. Lastly, I add some
expectations and things that would happen after having video cameras as a
conclude.
Those changes make my essay a full one and
more logical. I think the changes are good for me to present my position.
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